Jason's Alexander Kramer

February 21, 1993 to September 1, 2006

It was February 21, 1993 when my wife, Lucy and I gave birth to our first and only child. After waiting for a couple of years, the boy of our dreams had finally arrived. At 10:20 in the morning our lives were rewarded with a beautiful son.

Our son’s name is JASON ALEXANDER KRAMER. At the age of 13 ½ he was killed when struck by a car while riding his bicycle. To us, it was a tragedy beyond words. Though his life was cut short, he had a great time while he was here among us. He was a truly remarkable and talented young man.

His birth was uneventful, although he was taken by cesarean section after his mother spent the last 30 hours in labor. He was perfect and our families loved and nurtured him from that time on. He was raised around love, humor and compassion.

Jason was a perfectly normal kid. He found many friends around the area we lived in. He made friends easily being a very funny and outgoing boy. He always had a smile on his face. People just seemed to gravitate towards Jason. He was the most charismatic child you had ever seen.

One thing that set Jason apart from most of his other friends, and most kids, was his choices of food. Instead of ordering stuff like macaroni and cheese or a plain hamburger, Jason had a more inquisitive palate. He was in his two’s when we went to a restaurant and I ordered a complete cat-fish. Jason was aw-struck at the fish on my plate. Head and tail still intact. He came over to me and played with the fish’s face for awhile, then he proceeded to peel a piece and take a bite of it. He loved it and stood there, picking at the fish on my plate. He ate most of my dinner that night.

When he was three years old we took him to a Sunday brunch and he wanted to get his own food. After looking at the buffet laid out in front of him, he grabbed a couple of oysters on the half shell and brought them back to the table. We all thought it was going to be “play-time”. To our astonishment, he sucked them down and went back for more. When out with his friends, we would take them to McDonalds or Carl’s and his friends would always want a kid’s meal with a plain burger, while Jason would always get a full meal with a loaded hamburger. Whatever they could throw on it, he wanted.

As he aged he continued to enjoy all types of food. He would eat fish, pasta, steak, sushi, even vegetables. His uncle was a gourmet and was always trying new recipes and having Jason help him in the kitchen. He was exposed to a vast variety of different foods. There was rarely anything he wouldn’t eat. He had a very adult taste for food at a very young age. We never had the typical problem of what to feed the children. Whatever was there, he would eat.

At the age of four we were stunned to find out that Jason was diagnosed with Leukemia. Our world turned 180 degrees. My son had a sore in his mouth and complained to my wife about it. She noticed a white mark and immediately took him to the doctor. The doctor prescribed antibiotics to stop the infection and advised that if it did not clear up in a week to return to the office.

One week later the sore was the same and Jason was taken back to the doctor. It was decided to take blood and do some labs. At 11:00am the blood was drawn. At 1:30pm we received a call that said our son was severely anemic and the doctor had set an appointment for him at 4:00 at CHOC’s (Children’s Hospital of Orange County). At 4:00 we met with the head of the Oncology department, Dr Diane Nugent. Jason was admitted for testing.

We spent a very tense and sleepless night at the hospital. Around 6:00am we were notified that it was indeed Leukemia. Treatment was started immediately. That began the long road of cancer treatment thru chemotherapy. In fourteen days his cancer went into remission. Chemo continued and there was more progress. Our first stay in the hospital was for just over a month.

The treatment was such that he was allowed home for around four to six weeks to regain strength after a three week Chemotherapy regiment in the hospital. This continued for about a year and a half. After that we took Jason as an outpatient about twice a week for another year.

After several months of treatment he lost his hair and would be very weak right after the Chemo for about two weeks. He resembled a little old man shuffling around the house. During the last couple of weeks of his “breaks” from the hospital, he was a normal active kid again. The ups and downs were hard to take, but we all got through it.

The doctors were so enamored with Jason they used his picture for the cover on their annual report for the Hospital.

My wife, Lucy, was able to take off from work and spent all her time with Jason during this critical time. She slept in his bed with him every night he was in the hospital. She would not leave him unless one of her sisters or me was there. This is her only child. There was nothing more important to her as this boy. I never knew anyone more devoted to her baby.

The treatments would make Jason nauseas and it was tough to see him in that condition. He was a trooper though, and never complained. Several times he had a temperature of over 103 and had to be admitted to emergency and we would always be kept for a couple of days.

The medicines he needed to take at home took their toll. At times he would be listless and drowsy. He fell into the regiment and kept his smile and humor through the entire process. He was the strongest individual I have ever known. I don’t think that I would fare as well with what he had to endure.

This was a very trying time for us, but there was light at the end of the tunnel, and we made it through to the end of his hospital visits. After the doctors told us that he was considered cured, Lucy continued to take Jason to the clinic twice a year for blood work. It was not required, but we thought better safe than sorry.

After our encounter with the disease, we grew much closer as a family. The three of us were a team and went everywhere and did everything together. We didn’t want to leave him home or with anyone else. Coming so close to losing him, we wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. We went to places like Las Vegas, Big Bear Lake, the Mountain resorts, Colombia, Amusement Parks…everyplace we could think of. We probably did spoil him to some extent. He got almost everything he ever wanted, but he never acted like a spoiled brat. He never ranted and raved for things. He was just a happy, well mannered, popular, and articulate little kid. Always smiling and very friendly to everyone. People loved him. He was just a joy to be around.

Jason started school. He thrived with other kids around. He became one of the most popular kids on campus. Many of his peers vied for his attention. He did well and enjoyed school.

When he started the fourth grade, students were required to take a year with a musical instrument. Jason chose the violin and learned it. He did quite well and was excited about music from that point on. In addition to the songs that were required in the classroom, he played other pieces from songs he would hear on the radio or CD player.

The following year he picked up the trombone. After a short time with that instrument, he decided to switch to the drums. Several years before, we got him a little drum set and he took right to it. Playing a song on the stereo or CD and then playing along with the drum set. He was really good. He kept a good beat and added a great deal of personality to the performance. On his birthday, he had several of his friends over and gave a concert. He loved to perform in front of anyone who would listen.

In the classroom he learned the drums quickly. The main drummer for the school had left and the position was given to Jason. He picked up the songs immediately and was even featured in a school concert. It was amazing to see him perform at their District wide concert. To see him play so well with only a month of learning the scores was truly heart-warming. Music was definitely in his blood.

When Jason turned nine, his aunt and uncle gave him a Casio 61 key keyboard. He immediately sat down with it and started listening to the notes carefully. Shortly he was playing a couple of simple songs. The keyboard had a little screen on it and about 100 songs in a memory. Jason would listen to the songs and learn the placement of his fingers and what notes to play.

He came to us about a week after he got the keyboard and asked us to listen to what he learned. He played Beethoven’s “Fur Elise”. We were amazed with how quickly he picked the song up and with the feeling he put into the piece. I asked him if he really wanted to learn the piano and decided to start him in lessons to see what he would do.

After two classes in a group lesson forum, the instructor approached us and told us that Jason was wasting his time in the class and needed private lessons. Even though he wasn’t up to reading music as yet, he was too advanced for the class. We started private lessons and Jason shined.

After several months, he had his first recital. While most new students would strive to hit the right notes, most of them were very stiff and played very staccato. Jason, on the other hand, was relaxed and moved with the music. He put passion into the song he was playing. He was the only child to receive a standing ovation that day. Lucy and I were so proud, we were glowing.

Jason continued to do well in private lessons. He would learn a new song every couple of weeks. To see him play was amazing. The way he would move his body while his fingers brushed the keys was something to see. Before me was the most passionate, feeling musician I had ever seen. I realize that I am the father and may be somewhat biased, but my father was a musician and I have seen many in my life. This kid was destined for greatness.

We rewarded his efforts with a KORG SP200 full size keyboard. Once he received the KORG he wanted to play everywhere. He started to play at parties in our neighborhood and auditioning for talent shows. Once word got around, he received more requests to play at various functions. During the holiday periods like Christmas and Thanksgiving he was kept pretty busy. He would be playing somewhere almost every weekend. He always looked forward to his next performance and wondered how much money he would make. I really think that he loved the music more than the money.

We were so proud of our son……We loved to see him perform. When he was in front of an audience, he was a sight to see. He was always very comfortable in front of people and he always had that smile on his face. He never really looked serious until he got into his music. Usually he would laugh and joke around with whoever was close by. When he started to play, however, you could see his serious side come out. He was really into his music. He loved being in the spotlight…the center of attention. The thing is that some people want to be the “star”, but usually have nothing to offer. Jason had the talent to be out there.

He loved doing his shows and we had always encouraged him to continue. The stage was in his blood. We saw his musical progress in the last four years and know he would have done something great one day. We will miss watching and listening to his performances and will never get over the fact that we can no longer see him play.

Lucy works for the Department of Homeland Security and asked if Jason could play a song or two at their annual party. The powers that be agreed and Jason played at the party. The next year, my wife didn’t have to ask…..the department leaders requested Jason to play again. This time there were more songs. He was scheduled to play there for a third time this year, but the accident stopped that.

This year the Department of Homeland Security honored Jason at their party. They mentioned him in the inside cover of their program and the party took on a rather somber mood. He was missed by all.

A year before his passing he asked if he could learn the guitar. He had started listening to a lot of Eric Clapton and was awed with the instrument. I explained to him that his mother and I couldn’t get him lessons for both, but we would give him either piano or guitar lessons. Our schedules just wouldn’t accommodate two classes. He told us that he never wanted to give up his piano lessons, and just wanted to learn the guitar on his own.

Lucy found a new electric guitar that Jason fell in love with. It was a Fender, like the one Eric Clapton played. We bought it and he started strumming immediately. With the chord book that came with the guitar and the internet, he learned how to play some songs. Within a month he was playing stuff like Layla, House of the rising sun, Stairway to Heaven and more. He played it with the same feeling and passion that he put into his piano. He loved the instrument and played the guitar and his beloved keyboard constantly.

He was trying to start a band with four of his friends. They would practice in one of our garages on a Sunday. He had fun with it and they talked about playing for a school dance one day. Though he mainly played the keyboard, in two of the songs the band played Jason was on his guitar.

About six months prior to his death, we gave Jason a new KORG TR88 music synthesizer. This enabled him to put different tracks of music together to make his songs sound like full bands. He would play a piano first, then overlay the drums, guitars, flutes, organs, cymbals, whatever he decided to put into it. About a month before the accident I asked him to do a CD so that we could have his music in our cars. It took him about a week to come up with 24 songs on a CD that he created by himself.

The CD was quite a surprise to us. We knew it was coming as Jason would tell us…”Mom, Dad, it’s almost finished. You’ll get it soon.” Then he would run off to his room with his computer and keyboard and work.

I was surprised by the quality of the music. Lucy thought it was beautiful. I know he was good, but that CD sounded like a recording studio project. I was truly amazed by it. For a kid that had been playing for only 4 years to do a piece of work like that got to me. Almost half of the songs were his own creations and they were not what a regular 13 year old could put together. His choice of music varied. He was into rock & roll, hard rock, classical, slow ballads, blues, salsa, top 40 and jazz. The music is all over the map. There is something for everyone to enjoy. I put it in my car and listened to it a couple of times a week. Now I wonder what he could have done if he had more time on earth.

Jason was not only a musician but a normal kid with many friends. He was into Play-station and was up on all the latest video games. He enjoyed sports like: skateboarding, football, baseball, swimming, Texas Hold-em poker, snowboarding and most of all, lately, Golf. He would go to the driving range and practice for hours. We tried to get a round in every month or so. He was better than I was, but it was our time together that was priceless.

The last week we were together was a great one. For the past month I was teaching him how to drive. We would find an empty parking lot on Sundays and he would drive around for an hour or so. The last Sunday we found a great new parking lot. This one had no speed bumps and it was really huge. Instead of having a single circuit to drive around, he had a large area with many different routes to drive around in and he had a ball. We planned to come back next Sunday. Then we always got together on Wednesday’s (my day off from work). Usually we would go to a movie or bowling or something along those lines. This Wednesday we went to an arcade and road go-karts and had a wonderful time.

Thursday we went to his school to get signed in for the 8th grade. He was to start in one week. At the sign in they took his picture for his 2006-2007 identification card. This was the last picture of Jason and was taken the day before he died.

SEPTEMBER FIRST, 2006 is a day I can never forget. I was called by the police at 9:30 in the morning that my son was being taken to the hospital. I called my wife and we were to meet at the hospital. It took me about 20 minutes to get there and I found out they were doing a CAT scan on Jason. My wife had a friend drive her to the hospital as she was too shaken up to drive. With what she went through when Jason had Leukemia, every time he would sneeze, she be checking his temperature and making sure nothing was wrong. She couldn’t handle the fact that Jason was in a hospital again. Back in the days of our hospital stays, she would always sleep in the small bed with Jason to comfort him. She is the most loving, caring mom I have known.

Both of us stood outside the emergency entrance waiting for word on what was happening. We were agonizing over the situation from 10:00 until 11:30 when the doctor ushered us into a small office. “Your son didn’t make it” were the words that rang in my ears. You have no idea the shock when words like that hit you point blank. To say that my wife and I were devastated would be an understatement. There are no words to describe what we were feeling. The loss of my son was by far the worst thing to ever happen to me. To Lucy, it was even worse. There was no way for anyone to comfort either of us.

After a few minutes I demanded to be able to see my son. Lucy and I went to a room where Jason was lying on a gurney. He was covered except for his head. We stood close and said our goodbyes. I will never get that view of him out of my mind. He was so cold; it was difficult for us to contain ourselves. Finally I kissed him and rubbed his hair like I always did……..for the last time. Lucy and I held each other for comfort as we left the room.

I went home and locked myself away in my office. I didn’t know what to do. I was totally lost without my son there. I took Jason’s disc from my car and put it in my computer and sat there listening to my son. I closed my eyes and saw him playing. I must have played the disc 3 or 4 times. The only thing I could think of was making copies of the CD. I figured that I could give them to some friends and family. It was a great album and they would enjoy having something to remember Jason with. Making those CD’s was the only driving force I had. If I didn’t have them to keep me busy, I don’t want to think of what I may have done.

Lucy was as much a mess as I was. Luckily she has 2 sisters and nieces living close by. They were with her from the outset. They seemed to help, but Lucy’s depression was relentless. Our life took a dramatic turn and it is still strange to not have Jason around. It is something that you cannot describe. Emptiness times infinity is the only thing I can think of to try and describe it. There is such a large hole in my life where Jason should be.

People started calling and coming by the house. Luckily my wife was handling most of the people coming by while I stayed in the room making CD’s. Within a couple of days some friends called to say that the CD was great. They really enjoyed it.

The day it happened people started visiting the site and placed candles and flowers. I don’t know who actually put up the sign but I am very grateful. For the first two weeks that the site was up, there were around 100 people a night hanging out there.

Two weeks after his death, we held a memorial for Jason. We had no idea how many people would show up for the memorial of a 13 year old kid. Because he had a lot of friends at school, we figured between 200 and 300 sounded about right. I had made up over 300 CD’s by that time and was planning to give them away at the memorial. Another amazing thing happened……there were over 800 people at the service. Standing room only. I couldn’t believe such an outpouring for this little kid. I learned what an impact he had on his peers, friends and their families. One woman approached me and said that Jason used to play with her son, Peter. She told me all the mothers on the block wanted their kids to play with Jason. He was such a good influence on their children. Always had a smile on his face. Never had a bad word to say about anyone. Never had an enemy. Just a great kid.

It has been about 6 months now. It’s not any easier, but we are still trying to get by day by day. We still struggle daily to keep the tears from flowing to no avail. I’m hoping that time will at least soften the blow somewhat.

There are over 700 CD’s in circulation now. We started the JASON KRAMER MEMORIAL FUND and it has been doing some good. So far we have pledged to purchase at least 20 violins for Jason’s school district so some kid that can’t pay for an instrument can get one and maybe go on to what Jason was destined to become. Those violins should be around for over 25 years. To Jason’s favorite school we donated a piano to replace the one they had since 1974. There will be a plaque with Jason’s name on it. That should be there for over 30 years. We are making annual donations to CHOC’s also. We’re hoping that JASON ALEXANDER KRAMER will not be forgotten. He was a remarkable individual. He was our only child………our life.

Dan and Lucy Kramer

He's sleeping now